JESSICA SIMPSON: "THE CAMERA ADDS TEN POUNDS...LACK OF FASHION SENSE YA'LL"
by Benjamin Wally Carrico
nationalcomedyradio.blogspot.com
It has been an exciting week for Jessica Simpson, since her infamous appearance at a chili cook off in Pembroke Pines, Florida. Simpson, who apparently took the stage dressed as Barbara Bach in a 'Dukes Of Hazzard' TV Reunion special, has lambasted the media for it's coverage of her expanding.....talent. "The media should be ashamed of it's self for focusing on my gigantic butt and the several yards of denim that were covering it.....my boobs are gigantic as well.....and I sing!" In an interesting turn of events, Jessica Simpson's waistline has been expanding as her celebrity has been reduced to paid appearances at food festivals, buffets and eating contests. "Jessica won first prize at a blueberry pie eating contest.....but was disqualified for vomiting on the other contestants, including Comedian Louie Anderson and 'Fatso' star, Dom DeLuise." Said Pembroke Pines resident Archibald Crossly. He went on to say "Once Jessica barfed, Mr. Anderson and Mr. DeLuise up chucked as well, causing a chain reaction that spread to the contest crowd including women, children and fifteen Shriners".
Jessica's Sister, Kareoke star Ashley Simpson, has weighed in on the media blitz by releasing this statement: "The media attention surrounding my sister Jessica's weight problem is disgusting....the media and everyone for that matter, should only pay attention to Jessica when she is thin and beautiful and then ignore her when she bloats up like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. What kind of message are you sending young girls?". Dom DeLuise and Louie Anderson could not be reached for comment.
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