HOLLYWOOD HELICOPTER PILOTS ARE FU#@ING CRAZY!
by Benjamin Wally Carrico
Move over 'Dancing With The Stars' wannabes and reality TV rejects, because the new cool in Hollywood is being an inibriated, middle age helicopter pilot with a passion for aerobatic porn shoots. As if flying a helicopter isn't challenging enough, Pilot David Martz likes to throw in a lot of boobage to make things a little more interesting. Martz, the infamous helicopter pilot of rocker Tommy Lee , recently buzzed a LAPD police chopper and then chugged a vat of vodka shortly after landing "because he was thirsty" and is now the new Larry Flynt of the friendly skies. Martz has recently been photographed getting intimate with a beautiful pair of co-pilots while allegedly soaring high above Southern, California in an apparent episode of "GIRLS GONE FLYING". Although David Martz seems to be an obvious choice for a 'Pilot Of The Month" nomination, He says that he has a lot of work to do do secure his place in aviation history. "just because I have had my pilots license suspended four times for recklessness doesn't' make me a shoe in for a nomination...I have to prove I really want it". Martz went on to say: "I have a few cool stunts planned for early March including a drunken nosedive into The Hollywood bowl.....I'm going to circumcise a baby while in a barrel roll over a crowded supermarket parking lot.....and then I am gonna bring Andy Dick up with me and just see what happens". Martz is currently being investigated by the Federal Aviation Administration for not wearing his seat belt.
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